What is Self Love Coaching?

You may already be familiar with the concept of life coaching, or sex and relationships coaching. What I offer is a little bit different, because the central focus of my coaching sessions is not your career, or your relationship with others, but your relationship with YOU. I am here to help you cultivate a strong sense of self worth, personal power, and self love, including your relationship to your sexual and creative energy.

We all could use a little extra support from someone who has been through it before. I have synthesized my sexual health expertise (gained through 25 years of personal exploration, graduate level study, and 12 years in the field as a sex educator and consultant), in-depth experiences with different modalities of therapy, healing, and non-denominational spiritual work, and creative arts practice (as a visual artist, writer, and performer) into a comprehensive approach to learning to love yourself more!

You might want to consider Self Love Coaching if:

You have a tendency to “lose” yourself in relationships (whether that’s right now, or in the past).

You want a strong self love relationship in place before you seek love relationships with others.

You’re not really sure who you are or what you really want out of life.

You feel like something is “missing” in your life but can’t identify what.

You want to feel happier, more joyous, and more fulfilled.

You need support around making a big scary (but necessary and/or exciting) life change, such as leaving a relationship that no longer serves you, “coming out” about some aspect of your identity, moving to a new city, or starting a career.

You have a tendency to put other people’s needs ahead of your own, or are prone to “people pleasing.”

You want to experiment with or actively transform some aspect of your identity and self image. Many of us are locked in ideas of “who we are” that are comfortable but outdated, or may have been placed upon us by someone else.

You want to identify more deeply understand your sexual desires and needs, and how to fulfill them. Are you stressed out by your lack or experience, or worry that you are too “out there?” Are you concerned that others might think your fantasies are “weird,” but want to explore them nevertheless? Want to learn how to have an energy orgasm, g-spot or prostate orgasm, or squirting orgasm (or have never had any kind of orgasm at all)? Curious about dipping your toe into BD/SM, sex magick, or polyamory? Let me help you delve into this in a safe, comfortable, way that puts YOU first.

My Self Love Coaching style:

My approach to coaching revolves around values, not goals. In our sessions, we will focus on identifying your values and how to better incorporate them into how you live your life NOW, rather than worrying about what your life will ten years. Think about your goals ten years ago…Do they perfectly line up with where you actually are now?

While goals can be a valuable tool for helping us focus our intention towards a desired outcome, a rigid attachment to goals can sometimes harm us more than help us, fostering a sense of anxiety, failure, or being “not enough.” Sometimes we have to let go of the “goals” or dreams of the past to wake up to what we actually want in the present or near future. If your goals have ceased to motivate you, and have started to feel like a trap, let’s talk.

I identify as non-binary femme (I use my name as my pronoun), fat, and queer; and I work with people of all genders and sexual orientations. Neurodivergent people, BIPOC, disabled people, trans and non binary people, queer folks, sex workers, fat people, kinksters, pagans, poly/non monogamous folks, and others who may struggle with feeling judged or misunderstood by mainstream coaching professionals are especially welcome here. If you have any questions or concerns prior to working with me, please feel free to reach out via email.

Coaching is a completely confidential, judgement free space where you can express yourself openly and honestly. It is a mutually consent-based environment where either of us are free to end the coaching relationship at will. I will do my best to give referrals to other professionals if you need support beyond what I can provide.

While I use spiritual tools like meditation, divination, ritual creation, and altar building as transformative tools with some of my clients, it is by no means a requirement for coaching. We can explore this spiritual dimension of self love cultivation as little or as much as you choose.

What my Self Love Coaching is:

Working together to discover or re-discover your passion: whether that’s your sexuality, your creative expression, sense of purpose or your career.

Falling in love with yourself. Identifying what makes you YOU, and learning to really appreciate why you are special and worthy of the love and appreciation you deserve. Shifting your sense of self worth away from external to internal validation, so you are not dependent on others to define you and make you feel good.

Learning to transform negative self talk into self-compassion.

Cultivating a healthy, loving relationship to your body. Fostering healthy self image, discovering your personal style, assessing which self care and health habits can help you feel your best.

What Self Love Coaching is not:

I am not a trained or licensed therapist. While healing and self-examination is an important component of coaching, our sessions will be more focused on creating the life you want in the present moment moving forward, rather than unpacking the baggage of the past. If you have severe unresolved trauma, or struggle with untreated mood or personality disorders, I highly recommend that you consider seeking therapy prior to, or concurrent to coaching. You don’t have to be “perfect” to do this work, but you will get the best results if you have some healthy coping mechanisms already in place.

I do not offer couples coaching, or coaching related to navigating romantic or sexual relationships with others. While we may discuss these things in the context of our work together, the primary focus will be on your relationship to YOU. There are many excellent other coaches and therapists who can help you with issues related to interpersonal love and relationships.

While I do offer support around cultivating positive body image, I do not provide coaching related to exercise, diet and weight loss. I suggest that you work with a dietician, trainer, health coach, or other trained professionals for these things.

Please feel free to contact me if you have questions or need clarification about what I can and cannot help you with.

How to get started:

My basic coaching rates are $125/hr. You may schedule 20 minute initial consult for $25 (non-refundable), to assess whether working with me is the right choice for you. If you decide to proceed, the cost of the consult will be deducted from your first session fee. You are welcome to work with me on an occasional, one time, or ongoing basis, depending on your personal needs. I currently meet with clients via phone and Zoom only.

I accept a limited number of sliding scale appointments to clients experiencing economic hardship each month. You may be added to a wait list if those slots are claimed for the current month.